Le Zinc

February 12, 2015February 12, 2015 | Alan

I like that a French colloquialism for a bistro, café, or bar is “le zinc” because of the classic zinc countertops that were common in pre-World War II France. Zinc countertops in cafés go back centuries in France. The revered French author, Emile Zola, in his 1873 book “The Belly of Paris” used the expression “le zinc.” The slang phrase, “Rendez-vous à ‘le zinc’,” translates as “Meet me at the café.” So common were zinc countertops that there were even special soaps for cleaning “le zinc” followed with applying a coating of beeswax to protect its patina.

Although many zinc countertops in French cafés were confiscated during World War II by occupying forces with the metal being recycled into the Nazi war industries, you can still find vintage zinc counters. It has even become fashionable for contemporary bistros looking for a historic ambiance to have brand-new “le zinc” countertops fabricated.

Zinc countertop at Brasserie Les Jacobins, Carcassonne

Carcassonne – Fifteen Photos From Walking Around The Neighborhood

February 6, 2015February 6, 2015 | Alan

Fifteen photos taken “just walking around the neighborhood” on the way up to the Cité Médiévale de Carcassonne after a light dusting of snow in Carcassonne. This week has been the first snow Tracy and I have seen in our last two years in Carcassonne.

View of the 14th century Pont Vieux (Old Bridge) from the Quai Bellevue

View of le Cité de Carcassonne from the Quai Bellevue

Light snow in the moat surrounding le Cité de Carcassonne.

The Porte de Narbonne (Narbonne Gate) entrance to le Cité de Carcassonne.

Light snow in the moat outside the walls of le Cité de Carcassonne.

Cross at Place Marcou in le Cité de Carcassonne.

Snow surrounding the ramparts of the Le Château Comtal (Count's Château) within Cité de Carcassonne. — Snow surrounding the ramparts of the Le Château Comtal (Count’s Château) within Cité de Carcassonne.

Snow on the roof of Eglise Saint-Gimer (Church of Saint Gimer) seen from the ramparts of le Cité de Carcassonne.

Rue du Four Saint-Nazaire within le Cité de Carcassonne.

Basilique Saint-Nazaire-et-Saint-Celse de Carcassonne (Basilica of St. Nazaire and St. Celse) within le Cité de Carcassonne

Stained glass is Basilique Saint-Nazaire-et-Saint-Celse de Carcassonne (Basilica of St. Nazaire and St. Celse) within le Cité de Carcassonne.

Rose window stained glass is Basilique Saint-Nazaire-et-Saint-Celse de Carcassonne (Basilica of St. Nazaire and St. Celse) within le Cité de Carcassonne.

Gargoyle outside Basilique Saint-Nazaire-et-Saint-Celse de Carcassonne (Basilica of St. Nazaire and St. Celse) within le Cité de Carcassonne.

Alan standing near the Porte d'Aude (Aude Gate) entrance to le Cité de Carcassonne. — Alan standing near the Porte d’Aude (Aude Gate) entrance to le Cité de Carcassonne.

Light snow of the Ile De La Cite De Carcassonne (Island of Carcassonne) seen from the Pont Vieux (Old Bridge.)

Carcassonne – Thirteen Photos From Walking Around The Neighborhood

January 29, 2015January 29, 2015 | Alan

Thirteen photos taken “just walking around the neighborhood” in the Ville Basse (the lower city) of Carcassonne.

Ecole Primaire Jean Jaurès (Jean Jaurès Primary School) on Boulevard Jean Jaurès.

Antique door knocker along Rue du Pont Vieux

"Work" and Family" mural above the Caisse d'Epargne Bank at Boulevard Camille Pelletan — “Work” and Family” mural above the Caisse d’Epargne Bank at Boulevard Camille Pelletan

Harlequin wall tiles across from the Tourist Office on Rue de Verdun.

The flags of the European Union, France, and Languedoc region outside the Mairie (Town Hall.)

The French tricolor flying outside the Préfecture de l'Aude — The French tricolor flying outside the Préfecture de l’Aude

Our favorite breakfast pastry, the Pain au Chocolat also locally called a chocolatine.

Antique door knocker outside the Mairie (Town Hall.)

A café in the Bar Tabac de la Poste on the Rue Barbès.

Cornice with the date 1906 above L'Office de Tourisme de Carcassonne on the Rue de Verdun. — Cornice with the date 1906 above L’Office de Tourisme de Carcassonne on the Rue de Verdun.

Hôtel de Police de Carcassonne (Police Nationale headquarters) on Boulevard Barbès.

Carcassonne – Seven Photos From Walking Around The Neighborhood

January 17, 2015January 17, 2015 | Alan

Seven photos taken “just walking around the neighborhood” in the Ville Basse (the lower city) of Carcassonne.

The Pont Vieux (Old Bridge) on the left, the balcony next to the Chapelle Notre Dame de la Sante overlooking the River Aude, and the medieval Cité de Carcassonne on the hill above.

A Boucherie-Charcuterie on the Rue de Verdun. The sign in front advertises the availability of horse steak.

An ornamental carved lintel above a door on the Rue Coutejarie

Detail of a hammered iron hinge on the front door of Cathédrale Saint-Michel de Carcassonne

A striking antique door and frame on the Rue Coste Reboulh.

Verdigris on the lion's head fountain located behind the Portail des Jacobins (Jacobin Gate.) — Verdigris on the lion’s head fountain located behind the Portail des Jacobins (Jacobin Gate.)

Carcassonne – National Unity Rally Following Paris Attacks

January 15, 2015January 15, 2015 | Alan

On Saturday and Sunday, January 6 and 7, about 3.7 million residents of France, with 1.5 million in Paris alone, conducted national Unity Rallies in memorial to the victims of the Charlie Hebdo magazine and the Hyper Cacher kosher grocery store in Paris.

Twenty thousand marched in Carcassonne, a community of about 50,000 residents. The tragedy created a consolidating influence similar to what occurred in the US after the 9/11 attacks, Oklahoma City Bombing, and Boston Marathon Bombing. There was very much a “United we stand, divided we fall.” message being conveyed.

Alan participated in the one hour event that included a “Blanc Marche” or White March from the Jacobin Gate to La Cite de Carcassonne, while Tracy and Sami stayed in and watched the Paris Unity Rally live via an online link.

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Je Suis Charlie

January 10, 2015January 10, 2015 | Alan

After the mass murder of 12 people at the Charlie Hebdo magazine office in Paris on January 7, 2015, there has been an outpouring of support for the Freedom of Expression and journalism, whether satire or straight news reporting, in France. It started as a hashtag on Twitter of #JeSuisCharlie (I am Charlie) to show support to the victims and survivors of this terrible act of terrorism. #JeSuisCharlie soon moved to the front page of newspapers around the country and to people and businesses posting “Je Suis Charlie” in their windows. We were pleased to see “Je Suis Charlie” posted around Carcassonne which has also hosted Unity Rallies advocating free expression and in memory of the victims.

Newspaper shop display for #JeSuisCharlie

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Learning to Speak French in France, Part II

December 29, 2014December 29, 2014 | Alan

I recently had a friend ask how speaking French was going for me. He had assumed that with nearly two years in France I would be near fluent with French. It has been about a year after my first post on this topic (Learning to Speak French in France) and I have to admit to coming up extremely short on my goal to “speak French as well as a five year old child” by the end of 2014.

While Tracy tells me I have made some good progress speaking French, that progress is not nearly the fluency of a five year old French child. An honest self-assessment is that I was not consistent enough in my language studies over the past year. Like many “New Years Resolutions” I began to slip in my studies about April and was “hot and cold” for the rest of the year with my language work.

I have friends who were foreign exchange students who after six months were on their way to speaking their new languages well. I think the biggest difference was that those friends really were “totally immersed” with a host family that often didn’t speak English and the “sink or swim” daily survival motivation greatly helped. With Tracy and I as a couple of living abroad, the majority of my conversations are in English with her.

The start of 2015 is a good time to reassess, consider changes to my learning strategies, and re-commit to learning to speak French well.

Part of this re-motivation is reminding myself why I want to learn French. If I have managed to function in France for nearly two years without a good proficiency in French, why bother?

The first reason is to really develop meaningful friendships and to really understand people in our new home, I need to be able to communicate beyond the “Me Tarzan, you Jane” or the set formula (“Je voudrais un . . . ” I would like . . . ) levels of “getting by.” Even only being able to speak and understand concrete concepts in French would greatly broadens our interaction with French people. Some of our expat neighbors have developed wonderful relationships with local French people. This is denied to us because of the communication barrier.

The second reason is that,“(t)he French have the lowest level of English proficiency out of all the nationalities in the European Union.” Only about 39% of residents in France can hold a conversation in English with the greatest English proficiency being found in major cities. The number of English-speakers in France has slightly declined in recent years. To function well in France I need a greater command of the French language. While we have been able to locate an English-speaking doctor, ophthalmologist, veterinarian, and pharmacist, we have struggled with communications issues with our visa renewals, health insurance, and our banker. We are living in France, we need to learn to speak French.

Finally, I am having “glimmers of a breakthrough” with learning French. I like the challenge of learning to speak and understand the second-most spoken language in the world after English. French and English are the only two languages spoken on all five continents with French being an official language in 29 countries and one of the six official languages of the United Nations. I hope learning French will be a good tool for our future travel and helpful with better understanding other Romance languages like Spanish and Italian.

I just read an extremely motivating article in Time Magazine, “The Secret to Learning a Foreign Language as an Adult.” The author, David Bailey, described his process which he claims allowed him to learn French to conversational fluency in 17 days. I wanted to immediately dismiss the claim, but the author had prior fluency in another Romance language to build upon and he described a committed and intense regimen to achieve his goal. While I’m not Mr. Bailey, it is motivating to see what is possible in rapidly obtaining mastery of a new language with hard work. My personal goals are not nearly as ambitious.

So what are my goals and how do I plan to achieve them in 2015?

GOALS:

1. I am repeating my 2014 goal of being able to speak and understand French as well as a five year old by the end of 2015. I want to be able to have basic conversation about concrete concepts with the correct use of elementary grammar and tenses.

2. I will take and pass the Diplôme d’études en Langue Française (Diploma in French Studies – DELF) at the A1 level (beginning basic user) in 2015 and then prepare to take the A2 level (elementary basic user.) This is a “hard” quantitative goal to add to my more subjective goal of being able to communicate as well as a five year old.

PROCESS FOR 2015:

There is a lot of research into second-language acquisition and that the process for learning another language later in life is more difficult for adults than children due to the reduced “plasticity” of the mind with age. (The Science of Learning a New Language (and How to Use It).

My approach is to continue to use different methodologies to involve different learning modes.

1. I will study French language an hour a day, 20 days a month (Monday through Friday with make-up time on the weekend for any missed days.) I often incorporate the audio lesson with walking Sami the MinPin in the park where I can freely repeat the lessons out loud.

2. With the recommendation of a friend I met on the Camino de Santiago, I’ve added the Michel Thomas Method French audio program (http://www.michelthomas.com/how-it-works.php), to my learning process. Both Tracy and I have been impressed with the methodology and the speed of acquisition with the Michel Thomas program. It’s a very enjoyable and engaging way to learn. Its emphasis is on relaxed listening only and the use of a text and notes are discouraged. In the “The Secret to Learning a Foreign Language as an Adult” article Mr. Bailey’s also described his use of the Michel Thomas program too.

3. I am continuing to use Coffee Break French (http://radiolingua.com/shows/french/coffee-break-french/). I especially like its practical short scenario-based lessons and the PDF lesson notes that allows me to practice reading as well as speaking French.

4. I will maintain using the Pimsleur French program (http://www.pimsleur.com/Learn-French) for its methodology of “spaced repetition” for building vocabulary. Pimsleur is the most formal and traditional of these three audio second-language acquisition programs. The Pimsleur program is the most demanding to maintain focus with throughout its 30 minute lessons.

5. I’ve added a DELF A1 study guide, Reussir le Delf A1 book and CD. The text is designed for students preparing for the DELF A1 examination. The guide was developed with Centre International d’études Pédagogiques (International Centre for Studies in Education – CIEP) who administers the DELF proficiency level exams. The downside is that the guide is completely in French and I have to figure out any questions myself.

There is also a language school in Argelès-sur-Mer, where we are moving in April 2015. That school offers a preparation workshop for taking the DELF A1 test. I need to research, but the workshop may be worth the time and cost. I also intend to investigate the language schools in nearby Perpignan, but most of those schools are priced for tourists and not retirees’ budgets.

For supplemental learning I am making a point of reading and translating at least one article in a French newspaper daily and using “close-captioning” on television to both hear and see French simultaneously. I haven’t been using the French TV previously, but I believe it will help me further “train my ear” to understanding French better and to speak with the correct pacing.

I wrote in my last year’s blog post about second-language acquisition, “The programs I picked are certainly not the . . . only options, but these are the learning programs I selected for my personal andragogy (adult self-learning) and learning style. The biggest success factors I think for any adult second-language learner is their motivation and perseverance. There is no “Magic Bullet” of the perfect learning program, no “learn French in just 10 days.” Learners must be consistent and actively involved in their self-education like any other pursuit – golf, cooking, knitting, playing a musical instrument – there is no passive approach to mastery”

For 2015 I believe I need to follow my own advice about “motivation and perseverance” and maintain consistency in my study efforts.

No Permanent Address

August 16, 2014August 16, 2014 | Alan

I recently read a Buzzfeed humor article, 31 Important Things You Learn When You Move Across The World. The article had two lines that really struck a chord with me: “You learn that forms that ask for a “permanent address” are evil, and didn’t account for people like you” and “ ‘Please provide a permanent address.’ *Cue Panic Attack*”

There is a lot truth in those lines, with Tracy and my retirement lifestyle of selling our home, being expats living abroad, short-term renting, and changing our city of residence every year or two has made us – by some definitions – without a permanent address.

In my previous career in police work, “No Permanent Address” or “No Fixed Address” was a euphemism for a person being homeless. (Tracy and I commented about being “homeless” after selling our house and the lease running out on our apartment rental just prior to our departure to Europe. It was an unsettled feeling for us, but certainly not the same as the reality faced by real homeless people.)

Wikipedia defines ” ‘No Fixed Abode’ or ‘Without Fixed Abode’ (as) a legal term generally applied to those who do not have a fixed geographical location as their residence. This is applicable to several groups:

People who have a home, but which is not always in the same place:
- Those whose occupation requires them to live permanently on boats, ships, or movable oil platforms, or to travel constantly (as showmen, for example).
- Nomadic peoples (e.g. Indigenous Norwegian Travellers and Romanichal) and traveller groups (e.g. Irish Travellers, Scottish Gypsy and Traveller groups, New Age Travellers, Norwegian and Swedish Travellers); as well as individuals who adopt a mobile lifestyle, living in narrowboats, recreational vehicles, or the like.

While we do have friends who are full-time RV travelers in the US, almost all of them currently own a piece of real estate or physical home somewhere (even if it is currently rented to a tenant.) Tracy are I are hardly vagabonds who are randomly camping in Roma settlements around France, but our process of moving frequently creates a necessity of updating our visa status, address, and other issues with French government agencies. Our French visas actually classifies us as long-term “visiteurs” rather than as residents.

No longer owning a home in America and not physically living there has created a bit of a “grey area” with residency. What is our “permanent address?”

The concept of “no permanent address” is a legitimate concern in today’s world. In these modern times, if you want to vote, have a driver’s license, open a bank account, register a vehicle, have a credit card, or obtain health insurance, it isn’t just enough to have a U.S. passport, you need a permanent address. In addition to American expatriates living abroad, this is a very common problem in the full-time RV community in the US. A post office box in many states is insufficient for a legal domicile. The demand for a “permanent address” has spawned companies (especially in Texas and South Dakota, Escapees RV Club being one example) who cater to full-time travelers by legally providing a permanent address.

Tracy and I, like many expats, have elected to use a family member’s address as our permanent address in our former hometown of Reno, Nevada. (When I was college-aged I used my parent’s address as my permanent address as I “hopscotched” between living arrangements and roommates.) Because of Tracy and my decades-long connection to Reno and Sparks as residents, students, workers, taxpayers, homeowners, raising children and still having local family, and it being our last home, Reno serves as our official, permanent US residence.

This need for a permanent address isn’t just an issue for RVers and expats. George H. W. Bush had a long career of public service as a congressman, ambassador to the UN, envoy to China, director of the CIA, vice president, and finally president of the US. That career frequently required that he lived in Washington D.C., New York, Virginia, Maryland, or overseas. From 1985 until his retirement in 1993 he used the Houstonian Hotel, Club & Spa in Houston, Texas as his legal domicile and official voting address (although he moved out of Houston in 1981, stayed at the Houstonian intermittently, paid rent only for days his rooms were actually occupied, and owned an actual residence in Kennebunkport, Maine.) Former President Bush had signed an affidavit stating that he would build his retirement home in Houston and the “intent” stated in that document satisfied Texas that he was a bona fide resident of Texas (although Texas’ action did annoy some residents of Maine who, because of his home in Maine, felt former President Bush should have been considered a Maine resident and pay the Maine state income tax.) After leaving public office former President Bush did make good on his promise and retired to Houston.

By no means do Tracy and I attempt to be “Perpetual Travelers” whose primary motive is to avoid becoming legal residents of any country with the ultimate goal of tax avoidance and evading any legal responsibilities of residency. We contribute our fair share and fulfill our responsibilities to our countries of citizenship and occupancy.

While Tracy and I like to entertain a romantic fantasy of ourselves living a free-spirited, Bohemian, and unconventional expat life (cue images of Hemingways’s “Lost Generation” traveling from Paris to Pamplona in the 1920s or Montmartre’s diverse arts community from the movie, “Moulin Rouge!”), we are actually fairly orthodox, living within the many rules of “the system,” and we are definitely “on the grid” with a permanent address . . . but with an untraditional – and ever-changing – physical address.

Ernest Hemingway seated in 1925 with the persons depicted in the novel "The Sun Also Rises." The individuals depicted include Hemingway, Harold Loeb, Lady Duff Twysden; and Hadley Richardson, Ogden Stewart and Pat Guthrie. John F. Kennedy Presidential Library and Museum, Boston — Ernest Hemingway seated in 1925 with the persons depicted in the novel “The Sun Also Rises.” The individuals depicted include Hemingway, Harold Loeb, Lady Duff Twysden; and Hadley Richardson, Ogden Stewart and Pat Guthrie.
John F. Kennedy Presidential Library and Museum, Boston

Grading our Spam Comments

July 26, 2014July 26, 2014 | Tracy

I have been wanting to write this article for a while. It’s silly really. Our blog gets a lot of spam. I usually browse through it once a week or so, just in case someone we actually know has been flagged as spam. It happened only once, but now I look just in case.

The different trends for spam comments amuse me. I decided to save up 100 spam comments and evaluate them based on type and decide who I believe has the best overall spam comments. I based this on how well they are written, not just on frequency.

I find that I am developing a palette for what I believe is a good spam comment. It should be short, politely vague and slightly complimentary. It should take into account the title of the post it is spamming, or what I call “content matching.” Two months ago I had several that copied the title of the post back into the spam comment. I thought that took a little extra effort and decided that I liked that in my spam comments. I believe that if I’m to receive a falsely complimentary spam comment, that it should be based on at least one tangible quality, i.e. well written, helpful, etc. I also believe that quality spam comments should be original or unique, not just the same copied and pasted content from last month. Good spam comments should also be proofread before the submit button is clicked. But above all, quality spam comments should use proper grammar, punctuation and spelling. No “text talk” types of spelling such UR (you are) or IDK (I don’t know). So with my new style guide firmly in mind, I began reviewing my most recent 100 spam comments.

The winner was ClubTickets. They write the most literate comments, each one is different and they are short, vague comments. I appreciate that they are not multiple paragraphs of links to other sites. Here are some of the better comments received from ClubTickets and a couple notables of the 100 reviewed. I graded them . . . because I could.

From Liz: “Hello, just wanted to mention, I loved this blog post. It was helpful. Keep on posting.” [posted to Carcassonne: Oenovideo Film Festival and Terroirs d’Images Photo Exhibition]

Helpful for what Liz? Your comment is a little too vague. You get an A- for your spam comment. Just a few points off for punctuation and content. “Hello, just wanted to mention, I loved this blog post,” is not one sentence.

From Jordan: “Let me know if you are looking for a writer for your blog. I think I have much to offer. Spark off an e-mail if you’re interested.” [posted to: Carcassonne: Oenovideo Film Festival and Terroirs d’Images Photo Exhibition]

Sure thing Jordan, we definitely need a guest writer for posts about events we attend personally. You get a B, didn’t quite nail the content for that comment, dude. An e-mail is sent off, not sparked off. Colloquially you can also “shoot” someone an e-mail, if you must. Congrats on using “you are” instead of making the common you’re/your mistake. I gave extra credit for using it properly.

From Bridgett: “I’m not that much of a online reader to be honest but your blogs really nice, keep it up! I’ll go ahead and bookmark your site to come back later on. Cheers” [posted to Carcassonne: Oenovideo Film Festival and Terroirs d’Images Photo Exhibition]

Oh, please do, Bridgett we so look forward to your spam comments. You get an A-. Your first sentence is clunky but you made a nice effort. “. . . online reader to be honest, but your “blog is” really nice. Keep it up!” Well done though, politely vague and not filled with loads of unwanted spam links. A real pleasure to read. Be sure to watch your punctuation. Remember, commas are our friends.

From Alberto: “Hi, i think that i noticed you visited my site so i came to go back the want?. I’m attempting to find things to improve my web site! I assume its adequate to make use of a few of your concepts!! [posted to Carcassonne: Oenovideo Film Festival and Terroirs d’Images Photo Exhibition]

Sorry Alberto, you get a D. “… go back the want?” is not a question and “I” should always be capitalized. Nice try but you and I both know that I didn’t visit your site. You cannot fool me into thinking that I’m wrong. Remember the name of the game is to get me to “approve” your comment so that you can spam all of our subscribers. You are trying to hard. Relax and try a different approach.

From tickets: “Heya! I’m at work browsing your blog from my new iphone! Just wanted to say I love reading through your blog and look forward to all your posts! Carry on the outstanding work!” [posted to: Carcassonne: La Fête Nationale Fireworks (Bastille Day)]

Nameless ticket dude, thank you very much. We work hard to impress spammers like you. However, you get an F. While I appreciate the comment, you didn’t include your name on your spam comment. You must include a name to be taken seriously as a spam commenter. You have forgotten that capitalization is important, just check out Alberto’s grade. And, worst of all, you are playing with your phone and spamming people while at work, shame on you.

From Kathleen: “This is the right webpage for anybody who would like to find out about this topic. You understand so much its almost tough to argue with you (not that I actually will need to…HaHa). You definitely put a brand new spin on a topic which has been written about for a long time. Wonderful stuff, just wonderful!” [posted to: Carcassonne: Adam and Liz Exploring la Cité de Carcassonne and Canal du Midi]

Thank you Kathleen, we appreciate your vote of confidence on how much we understand. However, you still get a D. Content is key Kathleen, there wasn’t an argument to be made in our post. The post was about Adam and Liz exploring town, just some photos of the four of us having a good time. Not a topic that has been written about for a long time. Content matching is high on my list for quality spam commenters. Better luck next time.

From Blair: “I’m extremely impressed with your writing skills as well as with the layout on your blog. Is this a paid theme or did you modify it yourself? Either way keep up the excellent quality writing, it is rare to see a nice blog like this one today.” [posted to: Carcassonne: Adam and Liz Exploring la Cité de Carcassonne and Canal du Midi]

Thank you, Blair. I don’t believe our writing skills are all that impressive, but I appreciate the sentiment. You get an B+. “… writing skills, as well as, the layout” don’t forget about punctuation. “. . . excellent, quality writing” make sure to separate your adverbs with commas!

By the way, the blog’s theme is noted at the bottom of the web page. The theme is Delicious, and it is both a paid theme and modified.

From Gertie: “I believe that is among the such a lot significant information for me. And i am satisfied studying your article. However want to statement on some common things, The web site style is great, the articles is actually excellent :D. Excellent process, cheers” [posted to: Carcassonne: Oenovideo Film Festival and Terroirs d’Images Photo Exhibition]

Thank you so much, Gertie. We work very hard to post significant information, though I doubt it was necessary to study a post about an annual film festival. Nice use of the capital D smiley face. Happy to read that you find our process and articles excellent. However, you get a D. “I believe that is among the such a lot significant information for me” is not a real sentence. Articles (plural) “are” excellent. “I” should always be capitalized. A person can comment on something or can make a statement. Someone does not statement on something. A little focus is needed Gertie. I’m sure you’ll do better next time. Cheers.

From Bradford: “Good blog you have here.. It’s difficult to find quality writing like yours these days. I seriously appreciate people like you! Take care!!” [posted to: Carcassonne: La Fête Nationale Fireworks (Bastille Day)]

I believe that there is plenty of quality writing available online but we appreciate the thought. You get an A-. A slight punctuation issue: only one period necessary at the end of a sentence. Overall, your comment was nicely written. Polite, but vague as one would expect of a good spam comment. In the future, however, a little proof reading will earn you a better grade.

From Leta: “I’ve learn some excellent stuff here. Definitely price bookmarking for revisiting. I surprise how so much attempt you put to create any such magnificent informative site.” [posted to: Carcassonne: La Fête Nationale Fireworks (Bastille Day)]

Leta, Leta, Leta. You “learned” excellent stuff. There is no such thing as “price bookmarking.” And your last sentence makes no sense at all dear. You get an F. I think you should ask Bradford to tutor you.

From Todd Fields: “Fastidious answers in return of this matter with solid arguments and telling everything regarding that.” Todd’s e-mail: nanowrimo.org/participants/toddfieldlosangeles4570 [posted to: Finding our Rhythm | Days 20 to 26]

Todd, epic fail my friend. The blog post you commented on was about our sojourn into Spain for six weeks on the Camino de Santiago de Compostella. There were no fastidious answers or solid arguments. We did tell “everything” regarding our journey; long and drawn-out as it was. I am surprised that you were so off-base with your spam comment considering that your e-mail address suggests that you are an aspiring writer. You get a D. Vague and polite but completely off-topic.

The following two spam commenters received special awards.

Most AP Style Guide aligned: SEO Spam Commenter, Otis From Otis: “Nice blog right here! Additionally your site lots up fast! What web host are you the use of? Can I get your affiliate hyperlink on your host? I wish my website loaded up as quickly as yours lol” [posted to: Camino de Santiago Preparations – Equipment Lists]

Polite, vague and short – the three things I appreciate in good spam comments. It was a solid effort, Otis, but there are still a few issues. A website “loads” up. Someone “uses a web host.” Asking for someone’s affiliate hyperlink is just a bit too personal for a first spam comment.

In addition, you happened to spam comment one of our highest spammed blog posts. I deducted a few points because you are not being innovative with your search technique.

However, I would also like to congratulate you on proper use of “website.” For many years the Associated Press Style Guide gave the option to use “website” as either one word or two, but in 2010 they made a definitive ruling that it is one word. You did receive extra credit for this as none of the others who used the word had used it correctly. And because I have a strong affinity for the AP Style Guide. It was my style guide of choice for 18 years while working in a college marketing and public relations office.

Though not as well written as some of the others, you get a B+ for being the first to use “website” correctly. Good job, Otis!

Most Incredibly Vague: Mary Ellen Flemming From Mary Ellen Flemming: “This piece of writing gives clear idea designed for the new people of blogging, that really how to do running a blog.” [posted to: Camino de Santiago Preparations – Equipment Lists]

Thank you for the feedback, Mary Ellen. I am giving you a nice, solid D. Polite and vague are appreciated in spam comments, but I’m afraid I can’t just let you off on some problematic language issues. A piece of writing doesn’t “give,” the writer “gives,” a clear idea.

Additionally, your comment was completely off-topic, the post was about our preparation and equipment for the Camino de Santiago. It was not designed for “the new people of blogging.” Nor was it “intended” for “people new to blogging,” which would have been a better way to make that statement.

I also need to add here, Mary Ellen, that the product with which you were trying to spam me was completely vague. I could not discern what you were trying to sell me, not even in general terms. The idea is to bait me into approving your comment so that you can spam all of our subscribers.

I fear that you will not do well as a spam commenter if you are not a little more focused on selling the product. Perhaps you are too nice to be a spam commenter. Whatever future career choice you make, I’ll be cheering for you!

Spam Breakdown

Top commenter: ClubTickets 12 spam comments in a three-week period. ClubTickets’ spam comments are also the most well written of all those received. They are short, vague and easy to delete, no scrolling for long minutes to find the bottom where the Delete Permanently button lives. I appreciate that there is some minimal effort put into making their spam comments the least annoying.

The following comments are listed by volume and category.

SEO – 10, one of which was obviously typed on a Cyrillic keyboard (SEO stands for Search Engine Optimizer, key words that a search engine uses to find your site)

Shoes – 9, Christian Louboutin spammers were first with 5 spam comments

Women’s Clothing – 8, Karen Millen spammers were first with 4 spam comments

Vegas Show Tickets – 6

Purses – 5, Louis Vuitton spammers were first with 2 spam comments

Cosmetics – 4, Mac and Sephora spammes were tied with 2 spam comments each

Sunglasses – 3, Oakley spammers were first with 2 spam comments

Payday loans – 2

Jewelry – 2, both spam comments from Tiffany

Weight Loss – 2

We received only one spam comment for each of the following (in no particular order)

Woodworking Plans – at least it’s a new idea

Carpet Cleaning in the LA/Santa Monica area – guess they didn’t read the post they were spamming!

Clarisonic Ideals – don’t even know what this is really

Reverse Phone Lookup – blah, blah, blah

Payday Loans/Pizza – yep actually received this mash up spam comment. My personal favorite and Winner of the Best Mash-Up Award!

Multiple links – 19 paragraphs of text that barely resembled the English language; a total of 28 different links. Winner of the Multitasking Award!

Escorts – old school, was surprised they weren’t selling viagra with it as a mash-up marketing ploy

French Porn – thanks to my new neighbors, you’re getting to know me so well . . . not!

Chocolate – has potential, was even French chocolate

Cellulite – been done before

Detroit Lions Jerseys – didn’t realize the Lions were so hard up for fans

Cosmopolitan Magazine – tacky, especially for a fashion magazine

Body Power Express – never heard of it

Maps – yes, just generic paper maps, interesting marketing idea but doesn’t everyone have Google Maps on their smartphones?

Internet Marketing – Really! A vague, broad spectrum spam comment with a link to an even more vague website. And they want to sell marketing to me . . . hehehe! Winner of the Most Ironic Award!

Online Gaming – lovely idea, selling online gaming to a former Nevadan. Brilliant marketing ploy! Winner of the Mapes Award! For those who are not from the Reno area, the Mapes was the Grand Dame of Virginia Street Casinos. She closed in the 90s and was demolished to clear the way for development in the downtown corridor.

In the too vague to realize what they were selling category – 5 I was unable to decipher 12 comments as they were not in English nor did the e-mail address give me any identifying information for their content.

We received 4 in German, 4 in French and 2 in a logographic (i.e. pictographic/ideographic) language – 2

Hope you enjoyed reading my review of the last 100 spam comments we’ve received. Cheers!

An Italian Point Of View

Alan and Tracy's Expat Adventures

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