Being “Present” without Being “There”

June 25, 2015 | Tracy

Life as an expat has many challenges, thankfully staying in touch with family and friends is not one of them.

I cannot imagine what our expat lifestyle would have looked like just 20 years ago. Before social media, the Internet and smart phones. Staying in touch must have involved a lot more postcards and hand-written letters that would take weeks to arrive. All news from home would have been weeks or months old and photos rare. Long distance calls home few and quite expensive. Family events missed.

We learned the advantages of using a smartphone to be “present” at an event several years ago. Our daughter, Dallas, was returning from a years deployment in Afghanistan to Colorado Springs. We were there in person to welcome her home. Her sister, Danielle, was in the hospital with Princess Lily, and her new iPad. Alan contacted Danielle via FaceTime on his phone and through the magic of Apple, Danielle was able to sit in a hospital room in southern California and watch her sister arrive safely back home in Colorado. We recognized the advantage right away.

We have been in France for over 2 years and have not missed college graduations, holidays with family, or one-on-one chats with children or siblings. With our computers, phones, iPods, and a wifi connection we are able to visit family at the holidays, have a chat one-on-one with a sister, a daughter, or a friend. We watched via streaming video the graduations of four of the kids (Casey, his fiancee Megan, Adam, and his wife, Liz) from the University of Nevada, Reno over the last two years. At the holidays we FaceTime a family member and visit with everyone as they pass us around the room.

We haven’t missed a Superbowl. One of the BBC channels has aired the Superbowl live and we’ve been able to stay up late, very late, drink beer and cheer on our favorite team. It was always a big family event. We are thrilled to watch, even really early in the morning. With our laptops handy to keep up with chatter on Facebook, it’s almost like having a Superbowl party like we did before we moved.

Our son, Casey is getting married today. Though we will not be sitting in the audience, we will be able to witness this major life event. It’s a matter of learning to be “present” without being “there.” For today’s event it will be a Skype call through a smartphone.

It’s the little things like this that make life as an expat survivable for us. Our family is precious to us and being able to be present in the moment via social media, video chat or text messaging makes us feel like we are not so far from home. Events occur in real time and we are always available for family, friends, and assorted loved ones. Life is about not missing out on the moments that matter. Whether its a wedding, a graduation, a kid who misses us, or a sister who is having a bad day, we don’t miss out on too much. Hugs are tougher though . . . we miss those quite a bit.

We are so pleased to welcome our new daughter Megan, and new grand-daughter Izzy to the family!

Casey and Megan’s engagement photo shoot.

Megan as "Alice" with the Cheshire Cat — Alice spots the Cheshire Cat

Casey (The Mad Hatter) awaits Megan (Alice) at the "tea party" — The Mad Hatter awaits Alice at the tea party

Casey "The Mad Hatter" proposes to Megan "Alice" — The Mad Hatter proposes to Alice

Casey and Megan as The Mad Hatter and Alice; a unique proposal. — Casey and Megan

New Friends

June 23, 2015 | Tracy

Over the last 2 1/2 years Alan and I have made some great friends. Starting with Jason and his wife, Annette. Their hospitality our first year in Carcassonne was invaluable. From the moment our plane touched down in Toulouse, they have been the nicest people, helping with our luggage, driving us from Toulouse to Carcassonne and getting us settled into our first apartment in France. They are a wonderful couple and we have appreciated getting to know them and their family.

Our neighbors in Carcassonne, Sofie, Charlotte, and “Coucou” a lady whose name we never knew, who spoke no English but who would greet us whenever she saw us with the colloquial French greeting. These people made our time in Carcassonne very enjoyable. I miss Sofie, we used to spend quite a bit of time chatting and it was nice to have a gal pal close by. The husband is a fantastic conversationalist, but sometimes girls just want to chat with other girls.

Then there is “Melon Man.” This elderly gentleman who worked at one of the stalls at the Saturday market in Carcassonne. Whenever cantaloupe was in season he was at his best. I never had to select our melons, I need only tell him how many I would like. His face would light up and he would speak in rapid French while handing me my requested melons. They were always delicious and each week when he spotted us, he would start waving us over to ask how many we would like. What a shame that the cantaloupe wasn’t available year round!

Anne and Marie owned a small store at the end of the block. They were always smiling and always happy and would always correct our mispronounced French for us! When either of these ladies would say “Bonjour!” it was the most lyrical, happy sound! We miss them waving at us when we walk by and chatting with them when we would stop in the store.

The family who own La Casa in Carcassonne, a Catalan restaurant that serves the best meatballs I have ever had. Theirs was the first restaurant we ate at and visited often. Momma had a special liking for Kiara and would snatch her away whenever we stopped in. Son greeted us with our first “Ça va” and always made a point to wave if he noticed us walking by. Father always made a point of bringing Sami a plate of charcuterie whenever we stopped in for lunch, she always loved going to their restaurant and visiting with him.

Jeffrey and Michele from Canada and Jennifer from South Carolina, are friends we met while walking the Camino in 2013. We keep in touch through Facebook and really enjoy reading about their daily lives and new adventures. Jeffrey is an amazing photographer, Michele has the coolest job in the world and Jen is an amazing gal with a flair for fashion. We value their friendship and our shared experiences in Spain on the Camino de Santiago.

We met Carol when she came to see our apartment in Carcassonne. Jason brought her by as she was looking to rent the place when we left. We hit it off right away and enjoy reading about her travels through her business. She speaks excellent French and is a natural storyteller. We only regret that we were not in Carcassonne a little longer to spend a bit more time with her!

Since moving to Argeles-sur-Mer we have met two incredible couples through our blog. People who managed to find our little blog in the whole of the Internet (which still amazes us daily) and sent an email through our contact us link.

The first are Greg and Joan who actually live close by in Collioure. We enjoy their company very much and though they are currently traveling, have been keeping up with their adventure through text messages. Joan is an excellent cook and when we got together for lunch, made us the best meal we’ve had since arriving in France.

More recently we have made friends with a couple, Bob and Bill, who are looking to move to France. What started as a few questions about managing the different steps in making such a move has lead to a wonderful friendship. We are both looking forward to meeting these two when they arrive. But in the meantime we are enjoying our conversations with our new “pen-pals.”

A few days ago, I made a rather unusual friend. He has been keeping me company whenever I am on the terrace. I’ve named him Francois and do my best not to let him frighten me. This little bee comes every time I am sitting on the terrace. If I wave my hand at him, he backs off about a foot and hovers at eye level. I checked the patio furniture and haven’t found anywhere that he might be building a nest, but for some reason he comes every single time I go outdoors. I don’t know how long bees live, but I will enjoy his visits while they last.

There are many more people that we have met, chatted with for a while, but these are the friendships we have been enjoying while in this new country. We often say that this life is possible because of the support of our friends and family back home, and Facebook for letting us keep in touch with those we care about. These are people that we would not know if we hadn’t decided to do something adventurous. And just like our dear friends back home, these new friends feel like gifts from the universe. Well, maybe not Francois the bee, that depends on how well he behaves himself!

Here is a photo of a bee similar to Francois. Love his white furry neck.

photo credit: “Andrena vaga” by Stanzilla – Own work. Licensed under CC BY-SA 3.0 via Wikimedia Commons – https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Andrena_vaga.jpg#/media/File:Andrena_vaga.jpg

Knitting a Few Baby Gifts

June 5, 2015 | Tracy

Within the last six months four of my nieces have given birth to new babies. So to challenge myself with my newly acquired knitting skills I decided to make each of them a baby sweater.

I finished them last week and now they are ready to be mailed to my sister in Reno who has graciously offered to get them to my nieces for me.

For Zedekiah, the only boy in this recent batch of greats, I knitted a hooded sweater with a cute yarn I found at the Saturday open-air market where we do our vegetable shopping.

For Natalie, a cute little pattern that was quite a challenge to my beginner skills. It used two colors at the same time for the top. The yarn for this sweater was purchased from the same vendor at the open-air market.

For Devorah, a vintage pattern from the 1940s. Less of a challenge to my skills, but definitely a challenge to my memory. The lacy bottom part was on a five row alternating pattern, with each of the rows having its own unique series of stitches. The yarn for this pattern came from a quaint little shop in the historic district of town.

For Kae’yona, a multicolored yarn that I purchased while we were still in Carcassonne. I fell in love with the colors and purchased it before she was born, hoping that my niece would have a little girl so that I could use this particular yarn. My niece was kind enough to comply with my wish!

For my granddaughter, Lily, a pair of leg warmers in her favorite color. These will be helpful whenever she’s in the hospital to add a splash of color while still giving everyone access to the rest of her! I found this yarn in Collioure at their open-air market.

For my granddaughter, Lorelei, an adorable sweater pattern from Drops Designs. This was a particularly challenging piece as I haven’t done a lot of two color work where the colors are used together in the same row. The yarn came from the same vendor in Collioure, hoping to visit him again soon. I love the way it turned out, I even crocheted the buttons for this one!

Now all that’s left is to get these in the mail and start looking for more adorable little girl and boy sweater patterns as I still have three more grandkids to knit for! Avery, Izzy, and Carter will be getting theirs over the summer, just in time for cooler weather!

A Matter of Perspective

June 4, 2015June 5, 2015 | Tracy

Recently Alan and I took our first bike ride together and it got me thinking about the last time I was on a bicycle. I was 16 years old, 35 years ago. While cruising the promenade from our apartment to the harbor I started thinking what a major change of perspective our life in France has created, especially when it comes to transportation.

These days our primary mode of transportation is either walking or using public transportation.

Prior to retirement, the most walking we did was around the Sparks Marina while taking Kiara out to the dog park or for a walk around the marina to see her “peeps.” Afterwards we would usually stop at Anchors, a bar/restaurant with a large patio and a nice view of the water, to have lunch before we drove home.

The only time we used the bus was for football games at Mackay Stadium so that we didn’t have to deal with the parking lots nearer the University of Nevada, Reno campus which could take up to an hour to get out of after the game, or longer if we won.

Our retirement and subsequent move to France has forced us both to a new perspective when it comes to modes of transportation. Probably the best thing that happened to force a change of perspective was walking the Camino de Santiago in 2013. After hiking 800 kilometers over the course of six weeks, a 3 kilometer round trip to the grocery store doesn’t seem so bad at all. And taking a bus to the grocery store was a pleasure after finishing the Camino where we would sometimes hike 8 kilometers before stopping for breakfast.

In Carcassonne, it was easy to catch the bus to get around town, it was inexpensive and the system reached all corners of the city. In Argeles-sur-Mer, there isn’t a local bus, we have a petit train. It doesn’t run as regularly as the buses did in Carcassonne and often we find ourselves preferring to just walk home from the Saturday open-air market rather than waiting 2 hours for the next petit train.

We can walk home in less than an hour, unless we stop for cold drink near the beach. With a bicycle we can make the trip in 20 minutes and there are designated bike lanes on nearly every road in Argeles-sur-Mer. So, even though our apartment came with a couple of used bicycles, we’ve decided to purchase a couple of city bikes for our stay in this beautiful sea-side resort city.

The bikes will offer us the ability to see more of the surrounding area, provide opportunities for day trips and some hiking in the nearby foothills of the Pyrenees, allow us to do our shopping during the winter when the petit train isn’t running, and most importantly, pick up shawarma from our favorite kebab place that’s about 3 kilometers from the apartment and get it home before it gets cold!

For us this is a huge shift in perspective from where we were just two and a half years ago when each of us owned a new car and even though we worked at the same place, most often drove to work separately.